A few weeks ago a friend in Zurich messaged and told me she was moving flats and had a large canvas map that wouldn't fit her new place. Knowing I loved maps, she asked if I was interested and sent me the dimensions. I was interested. I remember reading the measurements but it was in cm, which even at 8+ years abroad, still don't lodge well in my mind. I went up for a visit and to collect the map one morning when Oskar and I were free. We took the bus, train and tram. Oskar was in heaven. When my friend saw we had come with public transport, she mentioned how brave we were. I then saw the map. Some how the massive size had clearly not registered.
My initial thought was how this would make a funny story some day and Oskar had I headed out on our return journey. Here is the map, barely fitting into the street tram. And a picture I took to send to Rocky--sure to make him laugh at this scenario--of Oskar and I with the map walking through the city on our way to Zurich HB to catch our train.
It wasn't until I was running to catch the bus in Zug while carrying Oskar, his scooter and the map that I truly felt how both ridiculous and conspicuous I looked. And I realized I didn't care. I've spent a large part of my life caring too much about what others (both strangers and friends) think of me.
Being in a foreign country, constantly making silly and absurd mistakes, speaking like a deranged toddler while being told off by shop clerks have helped me realize it doesn't matter what people think. Too often our ideas of those around us are colored by our experiences, limited knowledge or even our current mood. There's no reason to allow another's judgement to influence the way we feel about ourselves, especially not a stranger. This is all something I should have learned years ago or never even needed to learn--just innately known. But I'm glad it's how I feel know.
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