we didn't come to this country to eat shredded wheat

In a throw back to my own childhood, raised on wheat chex and stories of a time when Cream of Wheat was more than a myth, I took E to the grocery store to pick out any cereal she wanted for her birthday. This was probably as overwhelming for me as it was for her. You see, in the land of imported, overpriced breakfast cereals, E has been raised on off-brand cornflakes—imported from somewhere I expect resembles 1950’s Poland.  It’s sad stuff, probably lacks almost all nutritional value, but is low on sugar and cheap.

As we walked down the cereal aisle and I told her she could choose any box she wanted, she whispered excitedly, “Anything I want?”

“Sure,” I answered, “Anything you want. It’s your birthday cereal.”

She grabbed a box, “Me want this one.”

“Anything but that.”

It was shredded wheat.

I’m more than willing to let my daughter learn from her own mistakes, but I wasn’t about to pay $8 for an imported cereal I knew, I would eat alone so it didn’t go to waste. I guess this is how my siblings felt when seven year old me announced I loved Cornflakes so much I wanted them for my birthday cereal. They mutinied—I got my standard Lucky Charms.

Back in the grocery store, I carefully steered her to a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Crisis averted.

Feeling a little like moneybags, I threw a box of Cheerios into the cart. If I’m buying overpriced cereal, why stop with just one box. The next morning when we opened the boxes, I told Eliot, she’s only allowed one Cheerio from Vi’s tray every morning. She now nimbly takes her one allotted Cheerio, then turns back to her Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Eat it while you can birthday girl, when it’s gone you go back to cornflakes made from the same material as the box they came in. Maybe one day when you’re a parent you can choose to buy Shredded Wheat and Cheerios for your kids on their birthday.