lately

I got online in an attempt to catch up on my blog. I thought I would do a semi-humorous post about how few words Vi says and how Rocky is now betting our baby boy talks before her. Or howI gave her a horrible bang trim and turned her into blond Spock and now we can do a poll to find out who she looks more like, Chris Farley, Blond Spock, the albino from Princess Bride or Shrek (another delightful anecdote from my conversation with Rocky this morning).

But I can't really ignore the events of the past few weeks. I also don't feel adequate to blog about them as I am not a natural born Smart. To use a Harry Potter reference (because, why not?) I feel a little bit like someone from Durmstrang, trying to talk about Dumbledore dying. So if you want to hear about Dumbledore from a real Gryffindor Weasley, you can read Rachel's blog. If you want the take from one of Viktor Krum's much less talented classmates, please keep reading.

When we woke up Friday morning (three weeks ago) we found out Ricker had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. We immediately knew Rocky needed to get to UT no matter what happened. Since he had already missed the morning flight that day, he went to work and I spent the day researching flight for tomorrow. He took the first flight out the next morning and I spent the day in the hospital here in Bangkok trying to get Violet's phantom broken foot figured out.

By the time Sunday rolled around, things weren't looking good and I felt like we needed to be there as well. I booked flights for the girls and I on Tuesday morning. As we were boarding the flight in Bangkok I got a email from Rocky telling my Ricker had passed away. I looked down to discover Violet had taken off her shirt and was running around like a maniac, eating fruit snacks ground into the terminal floor.

We landed Tuesday night and drove straight to the Smarts. It was strange. Usually Ricker is on of the first ones out the door to greet us. It took a few days for the new reality to even begin to sink in. I told Rocky it seemed impossible that a personality so big and so encompassing could really be gone but it was, is. We spent the next two weeks in UT for the funeral arrangements and to spend time with family. Everyday I kept expecting Ricker to walk in the front door with fifty pounds of ribs or 30 steaks stolen from the Flintstones movie set.

Even now, back in Bangkok, it seems strange that he is really gone. Just yesterday as I was having an ultrasound the doctor told me the baby is measuring really big for his age and my first thought, was Rocky needed to call Ricker because he would be so excited. He was always so excited about everything we did. Whether it was a neat trip we took or something funny Eliot said or some new physical milestone Violet had passed months early, I always knew he would want to hear about it. But more importantly than him being our family cheerleader, I will be forever grateful of the amazing family he dedicated his life to raising. And I will always be grateful that Rocky is so much like his father. One of my favorite qualities about Rocky is that there is no where he would rather be than with family. This is something he got straight from his father.

For the funeral Roman put together a really thoughtful slide show, because Ricker loved spending time with his family most of all, a lot of the pictures were of him and his children and grandchildren. As we didn't even bother packing Eliot a second pair of pajamas, we didn't bring out our hard drive or any pictures. Here are some of the ones I found today that I hope my children (especially Eliot) will look at when they are older and know how much their grandfather loved them.  And for the children we have that didn't get to know him, I hope they will see through this pictures how much he loves and cares about them from the other side. I can promise them, he is their biggest cheerleader and is so completely invested in their life now--just as he was before.

 When we put in this salvaged wood floor, we rented the sander for 24 hours. He and Cheryl stayed all night and helped us get it finished.

 I wish I could find the picture of next years parade with Eliot sitting in the sidecar with him, stuffing her face with candy.

Every time something stinks, Eliot immediately says, "Yuck, it smells like turkeys in here." It's believing turkey is a weird smell, or insisting there is a blue bear that lives at the G, or any kind of reference to the golden arm, these are things I hope she never stops talking about.

 

Maybe I'm a biased judge, but this is the greatest family I know. A family like this is a very special legacy.

The grandkids sang this song at his funeral, this is one of the practice ones, maybe not their best but I'm still glad I recorded it. Although, as I'm adding it now, I'm realizing one of the few people who might have watched it was Ricker.